The Problem With E.T.

E.T. the Extra Terrestrial is an instantly unlikeable movie. I've tried watching the movie in its entirety several times but I've never made it through.

I thought there was something wrong with me but I caught it again on TV this weekend when I was sick home with swine flu and I figured out that its really the movie's fault.

ET has the single most horrible beginning of any movie ever.

The movie starts in a darkly lit film studio that doubles as a "dimly lit forest" that is so fake that its uninteresting. There are loving shots of fake trees and fake grass and there are silhouetted aliens that look on to a panorama of a city that is actually a green screen-like effect. The alien silhouettes are chased down by other human silhouette throughout the film studio. A ship flies away and all we see are....silhouettes!

And THEN we get introduced to our first real characters of the film, the first non-silhouettes, humans with speaking parts, people we can identify with.....and it turns out that these characters are the MOST ANNOYING KIDS EVER PLACED ON FILM. They're playing poker, smoking, and talking in knowing adult dialogue. There's nothing natural about them and by this point I want to change the channel in disgust.

I'm sorry but I don't care if this movie is old. Jaws is old and it has a kick ass opening. This shit sucks!

-Deviant

Acting!!!~or~Four Eyed Douchebags

On this episode of "touch me where I pee," the kids go to an acting studio, unfortunately said acting studio is actually a school-for-communicating-with-deaf-people-without-using-sign-language-by piercing-the-sound-barrier type deals.

I'm stroking, how about you?

-Deviant in case you can't see the vid.

Fucking Awful Video Shit I Found While Drinking Whiskey at 1:28 AM~or~This Is MY Lost

"It's like we were nickling and diming our movie." Well it's because they were trying to sell it for you, they have to know who owns the movie to sell it. Are you just doing this to piss me off now? It isn't fucking fair.

-Deviant in case you can't see the vid.

WTF?~or~And You Have The Balls To Tell Me Where I Can Buy This Shit At The End of the Clip

No seriously, what the fuck IS THIS SHIT?

Love,
-Deviant in case you can't see the vid.

Pretty White People With Problems~or~Painful Brreak Up Videos on Vimeo

Self-fulfilling Prophecy from susanbuice on Vimeo.

Maybe it's because your ex-bf is gay (/allegedly)(/parody)(/homage). Just a suggestion!

-Deviant in case you can't see the vid.

The Arrested Development Chicken Dance Gag~or~The Greatest Scene In American Sitcom History

I've become your annoying friend that only talks about how great Arrested Development is. I am this because I watched the series from start to finish over a period of a week at the urging of a crazy-haired person.

"You'll watch the show and the punchline to a joke will happen in the second season that was setup in the FIRST season and when it happens you just sit there with your mouth open going I CAN'T BELIEVE WHAT I'M WATCHING."

Following is one such scene that had me out of breath laughing. I urge you to watch this show from start to finish on Hulu or DVD



Also see the most dramatic scenes in an American cartoon Heart of Ice from the Batman Animated show.

-Deviant